The Elevation of Married Women

May 17th, 2009 Gina Posted in Beliefs, Conversations | 1 Comment »

him: Did you hear that Nick Cannon is making all kinds of threats against Eminem now? 

me: No, I didn’t.  Why’s that?

him: Apparently Eminem said a bunch of crap about Mirah Careyon his new album. (Eminem “dated” Mirah years ago)

me: Wasn’t Eminem talking shit about Mariah Carey on his last album?

him: Yeah, he was!  That dude has really got something against her.

me: Well, maybe he just needs some new material?

him: Either way, you can’t talk about somebodies wife like that. (Now Mariah is married to Nick Cannon)

me: So, now that she’s married, she deserves to be defended and protected?  But not before she got married?

him: Well, maybe by her father or something…

me: You know, I think it’s bullshit that just because a woman gets married, she is suddenly entitled to a whole other level of respect.  Maybe that’s why little girls dream of getting married all their lives. Because society elevates women to some whole other level just because they stand up in front of some dude, repeat a few words, then sign a paper. 

I got married last month.  It’s something I never thought I’d do.  Well, when I was in my 20’s I sort of assumed I would just because that’s what people do.  But it’s not something I ever looked forward to. 

I waited until the last minute to tell my coworkers because I knew that I wouldn’t have the response they needed me to have when discussing the wedding plans.  I didn’t want to have big unreasonably fancy hair and a Cinderella-type wedding dress.  I didn’t want to walk down an aisle where people would be sitting on church pews starting at me wearing said big gaudy dress.  That I haven’t dreamt about my wedding day all my life apparently makes me strange.  I couldn’t have cared less who was there as long as he was there and we were both present when we committed our lives to each other (and on paper.) 

I’ve never understood girls dreaming of their wedding day all their lives.  But now that I’ve gone through it myself and seen how different (special, like a rock star) people treat brides-to-be and wives (apparently I’ll get more respect now than ever), I’m starting to understand it a little more.

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May 14th, 2009 Gina Posted in Advanced Maternal Age, Family, Thoughts | No Comments »

I’m back with a vengeance. 

Here’s the stuff I’m ranting about this month:

  1. The bathroom remodel is done but every time I walk in there I’m reminded of how much I despise Ivo
  2. Weddings - I never knew they were such rackets and I’m mad about it.
  3. Scottsdale Arizona - a sea of white folks.
  4. Trying to have a baby sort of sucks.
  5. There’s a strong chance I had swine flu (HAD!)
  6. People are compelled to ask me if I feel different now that I’m married.  Like they can’t help themselves!
  7. Western medicine is overrun with closed-minded-bastard-know-it-alls.
  8. My angelic nephew is not so angelic after all.  Apparently it’s reasonable to bribe people to take tests for him all over a piece of .30 cent candy.
  9. I can’t stop thinking about John and Kate Plus 8, which makes me feel like a crazy bitch.

I could go on and on.  Stay tuned.

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Why I Hate Facebook

February 26th, 2009 Gina Posted in humor | 1 Comment »

prom night I like the concept of Facebook and honestly, there are a few old friends I  keep hoping will find me there, but it has yet to happen.  Instead, I’m constantly being taken back to my awkward high school days, reminded of shit that I regret handling the way I did.  There are a few people I definitely should have cussed out, or maybe beat up.  Case-in-point…

There’s a chick that went to my high school who ran off with my prom date.  On prom night!  I almost didn’t attend my prom.  I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time so it didn’t make much sense, but everybody convinced me that I’d regret it, so I ended up going with the good friend of one of my best friends.  He was a nice guy but I really didn’t have any romantic intentions towards him since I barely knew him.  A group of girls I hung out with met at a restaurant with our respective dates for dinner before heading over to the prom.  I remember thinking how handsome and nice this one girl’s date seemed but he really didn’t say much at dinner - he seemed really shy.  At the prom I didn’t notice anything fishy between the this girl and my date but at a party afterwards, my date was suddenly missing for a long time.  When I asked where he was, everybody got all weird with me then finally told me that he’d left the party with this girl.  I’m pretty sure they had sex and from that night on, she was a skanky whore as far as I was concerned.  We never spoke about it and I never found out what happened to her date. “Thanks for spending all that money on your tux, car rental and expensive dinner, honey.  I’ll get my own ride home.”  If that had happened to me today, I’d really let her have it but back then I was just trying to be invisible.  Besides, my prom date leaving me for another girl at the prom just crushed my already fragile ego and I was horrified for anybody to know about it. 

Years after the prom when my parents were relocating from Memphis to Nashville, I ran across my prom pictures.  It was the ones I’d ordered from the professional photographers - a 5×7 and a million wallet sized ones.  (I had no idea he’d ditch me later when I ordered them)  One set included all us girls standing side-by-side in our dresses, with our foot propped up on my date who was laying on the floor in front of us grinning like he was in heaven.  I think it was supposed to be like us asserting our woman-ness over him - you know, walking all over him?  When I found those pictures, all the emotions I should have had that night came flooding in and in dramatic fashion I went to burn them on the lawn.  My little brother was warning me about the dangers of fire the entire time I was gathering matches and preparing for the finale.  It was the fall and the grass was dead, which I did not realize until I set the pictures afire and dropped them on the ground.  The wind blew and the fire swept across our yard and in that moment I suddenly understood wildfires.  I burnt our entire yard and if it weren’t for the quick response of my little brother I’d probably have burned down somebody else’s house (we’d already sold it). 

So, you know where I’m going with this.  This skanky whore is on Facebook and a friend of all the people I hung out with from high school.  Not only that, she sent me a friend request.  Bitch please!  I’m not over it and you’re still a skanky whore as far as I’m concerned!

In addition to the anger seeing her on Facebook causes me, it also makes me feel like a psycho that I can’t shake this bitterness I’ve been carting around for over 20 years.  And I’m petrified that one day I’ll accept her friend request just so I can write “skanky whore” on her “wall” on Facebook forever tarnishing gina-takes-the-high-road image.  In summary, Facebook is a pain in my ass.

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Bathroom Remodel: During

February 12th, 2009 Gina Posted in Design | No Comments »

2009_0211image0071 Here’s what the bathroom looked like at the end of day one.  As you can see, there is nothing there besides the now broken and filthy toilet that Ivo et al put back into place just before they left.  The ceiling is missing so I can see up into the attic (see last picture), a place I’ve never even been before (in this house).  There is no electricity so my guy thought the flower lamp would provide just enough light for us to get our ass on the toilet.  I think it’s a nice touch. 


2009_0211image0058 Unfortunately, when Ivo removed the wall behind the sink, he discovered some plumbing that is oddly placed and can’t be moved on our budget.  This is obviously the reason for the soffit placed there making the vanity stick out further than it should.  (see before photo left)  This probably means that the double sink isn’t possible - I’m bummed about that. 


2009_0211image0063 I don’t know any other way to see this except this room looks exactly like a place where monsters and ghosts would hang out.  It’s dark and cold and scary and I do not want to go in there at all.  I keep having visions of me being on the toilet at 2:00 am half asleep and being sucked into the attic by some poltergeist.  I’ve already warned him that if I need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I’m waking him up to come with me to stand guard outside the door. 

Tomorrow I was promised a tub.  My entire house is covered with a think layer of dust and I feel like my lungs are working overtime to stay clean.

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Prelude To A Bathroom Remodel

February 11th, 2009 Gina Posted in Design | 1 Comment »

This is my piece of crap bathroom. 

When we bought this house nearly 5 years ago, the bathroom was already a piece of crap and it has just gotten worse over the years.  Notice the ugly blue paint?  I’m ashamed to admit that I did that myself a couple of weeks after we moved in.  That color is my attempt to coordinate a darker blue with the ugly lighter blue wall tile.  Anybody have any idea who would decide that the dark red trim tile would look good with the blue tile?  And by the way, those tiles are plastic!  Way to go upscale, former owners!

I only agreed to move to this house if we could remodel the bathroom pronto.  But, it has taken all these years to save the money to do it.  We nearly put off the remodel even longer because we wanted to expand the bathroom into a totally unusable hall space which would have allowed us to extend the counter, make double sinks and build a separate shower stall in addition to the jacuzzi tub.  Even as I’m typing this I’m having regrets about not waiting until we could afford the way-better bathroom.  No no no!  It’s wrong to do crap you can’t afford!  And if we couldn’t come up with the money after 5 years then we obviously cannot afford it, right?  5 years!  I really have a hard time with the whole “living within your means” thing.

So, tomorrow morning at 7:00 am some strange dude named “Ivo” is coming over to my house to demolish our one and only bathroom.  He has committed to re-installing the toilet after each work day but says we’ll be without our sink and tub for a minimum of 3 days.  Thank you Bally’s for that free 7 day guest pass!  I’ll be showering there this week.

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From The Nosebleed Section: Vomit Boy

January 17th, 2009 Gina Posted in From The Nosebleed Section, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

The other night the Chicago Bulls beat the Sacramento Kings (thank God!) and although it was fun to finally see a win, I nearly killed a young high school boy that was there with the rest of his high school basketball team. 

I’m sitting on the end of the isle and this kid comes running up the stairs leaping 3 steps at a time (I’ve always been jealous of people who could do that, and whistle with their two fingers stuck in their mouth).  I noticed him because he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt (significant because it’s January in Chicago and there was a freakin snow storm THAT NIGHT).  Instead of sitting in a seat, he sits on the stairs, immediately beside me.  And he starts to talk about vomiting. 

“I just threw up, dude!”

“(other) Dude, I just puked!”

“My mom puked earlier today.”

“I feel better than I’ve felt all day!”

I’m not sure if I’ve told you about this before but I have a severe gag-reflex.  If anybody vomits anywhere by me, I’ll vomit.  If I hear the sound of somebody vomiting, I gag and have to focus really hard on not vomiting. 

So all this talk about vomiting is grossing me the fuck out and it’s pissing me off all at the same time because, well, it’s rude and disruptive!  And tickets to these games ain’t cheap!  Not only is it putting me in a bad mood, it’s making me nauseous and at risk of breaking my no-vomit streak (I’ve got one going just like Seinfeld.) 

The strangest thing to me is that, it’s not like this kid was bragging or trying to gross out his friends, he just vehemently needed for all of them to know that he’d just vomited.  It’s like he felt it was his duty to tell them.  Me?  I could care less!  All I’m thinking about is his germy ass is all up in my personal space, so I’m liable to be puking in the morning, my damned self.  And I’m wondering why he doesn’t call his puking mom to come pick his puking ass up.  We’re all in danger of getting sick!  Why is nobody else outraged!  I’m growing increasingly pissed off and I keep telling my guy who can’t understand why I’m fixated on vomit boy and keeps telling me to ignore it because he knows I’m borderline crazy and I’m not afraid to cuss the kid out over it. 

“Do I smell like puke?  I can still smell it - can you guys smell it?”

That’s it - I can’t take anymore.  “DUDE - THAT IS SO GROSS!”  And just as I turn to say it, he’s spits, and a big long string of vomit-tinged spit comes stringing out of his mouth and down onto the concrete stairs.  He’s openly spitting right on the stairs where we all have to walk.

“Sorry, I just vomited” he turned and said to me apologetically.

You should have seen the look on his face.  He needed me to know, too.  It was as if the fact that he’d just vomited took precedent over the entire basketball game, my physical health, my money, my night out with my boyfriend, and gave him a free pass to openly spit left-over vomit in areas where we walk.  I maintain that this is bad parenting! 

We’ve been talking a lot lately about how gross men/boys can be.  The other night I went into the “family bathroom” at the movie theatre and it was just disgusting.  Urine everywhere!  On the floor, on the seat!  When I returned to my seat to complain about it to my guy, he responded like he always does.  “Men are pigs, I keep trying to tell you that.”  Well, I’m not experienced with this crap.  My father and brother were not burping farting peeing-where-pee-doesn’t belong guys.  My boyfriend isn’t, either.  I’ve never seen a drop of urine on my toilet seat or, God forbid, the floor. 

If you have an opinion on what causes men to be so gross, please let me know.  Is this innate?  Bad parenting?

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2009, The Year Of The Bentos

January 7th, 2009 Gina Posted in Bentos, Diets, Food, Goals | 2 Comments »

2009_0102image0001 I got this awesome Bentos Laptop Lunchboxfor xmas.  Ever heard of them?   As near as I can tell it’s just a fancy way to bring your lunch and not use all the evil disposable stuff like Ziploc bags and individual yogurts.  It’s sort of like a lunchbox for hippies. 

Wiki says - Bentō (弁当 or べんとう, Bentō?) is a single-portion takeout or home-packed meal common in Japanese cuisine. A traditional bento consists of rice, fish or meat, and one or more pickled or cooked vegetables as a side dish. Containers range from disposable mass produced to hand crafted lacquerware. Although bento is readily available in many places throughout Japan, including convenience stores, bento shops (弁当屋, bentō-ya?), train stations, and department stores, it is still common for Japanese homemakers to spend considerable time and energy producing an appealing boxed lunch.

2009_0102image0004The outside carrying case (above) looks like a thinner well-made lunch box.  Inside the carrying case is a drink bottle and a plastic box (left) which holds all the Bentos, and a fork and spoon. 

The plastic containers are recyclable and very sturdy.  Plus, they are lead and BPA-free. 

I also love that it was designed by a couple of moms who are committed to reducing waste and improving lunchtime nutrition.  Although I think this lunch box is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time, I’m already concerned about the lack of lids provided.  According to what I found on the Internet, research showed that moms usually pack their kids’ lunches with exactly this number of wet items, therefore this is how many lids (below) are needed.  But, hey, what about grown-ups who want to take left-overs rather than chips?  I’m having trouble thinking of dry, healthy stuff to bring for lunch and it seems that they don’t sell extra lids for these things.  That’s kinda irritating, laptop lunches people!  Can you make one of these things for grown-ups, or sell me some lids for Christ’s sake?

2009_0102image0005Anyway, I’ll be bringing my lunch in this thing as much as possible over the next year.  It should help me reach one of my other 2009 goals which is to purchase no more than 1 lunch per month from the cafeteria at work or a restaurant.  I’ve been doing OK with this over the past few months but only because I’ve stocked up on Lean Cuisine meals.  I try to find them on sale then buy as many as I can afford at the time.  (If you eat these things, try Target.  They’ve got  Lean Cuisines for cheap). The trouble is that these packaged meals contain a huge amount of sodium and then there’s the packaging.  Each time I throw the empty container in my office trash can, I shake my head in disappointment.

If you own one of these Laptop Lunchboxes or another Bentos type contraption, I’d love to hear from you.  What kind of stuff do you pack in yours?  I need ideas! 

I’ll also be trying to post my lunches here in a new I’m calling In My Bentos.

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2009, The Year Of The Wii Fit

January 6th, 2009 Gina Posted in Fitness | 5 Comments »


I’m always on the lookout for a way to spice up my workout (or entice myself to workout, period) and despite the fact that I own enough equipment (treadmill, elliptical, spinning bike, upright bike, weight bench etc…) for a home gym, I still get bored. 

I’m not much of a video gamer, but once I heard about the Wii Fit for Nintendo Wii and read some really great stuff about it, I just had to have one.  We got the Wii in late November so that we’d be able to play it with the family after Thanksgiving dinner.  Then, I asked for the Wii Fit for Xmas. 

A couple of weeks before Xmas we walked into Best Buy to do some Xmas shopping and there they were, stocking the Wii Fit right at the front of the store.  My guy bought it right on the spot for 89.99 explaining that he’d been trying to find me one and had nearly paid $300 for one on EBay. 

What I love about it

  1. The balance board is also a scale (it’s so much less painful than the traditional scale that I’ve grown so accustomed to stepping on, then looking down dreading the number).
  2. You can password protect your profile (I don’t need him seeing how much I weigh!)
  3. The running, hoola hoop and boxing.  I kick ass at these! They make me feel good about myself!
  4. Almost all the balance games.
  5. The fact that you have to do more workouts to unlock more stuff (it makes it more interesting).
  6. You can create your Mii (that’s mine, up there on the picture) to look like yourself (or not, if you hate the way you look).

What I don’t love

  1. It wants me to weigh every day which really freaks me out (weight in general, I mean). 
  2. The step aerobics (the balance board is too damned small to be doing step aerobics on) and the music us ultra-corny
  3. The yoga. It’s also hard to do on the balance board. I nearly killed myself doing the “tree pose”.
  4. The Wii Age seems very random.  One day I’m 5 years younger than my actual age and the next day I’m 3 years older than my actual age.  That makes me not trust the Wii Gods at all.
  5. If you are playing the balance games with a friend, you have to log completely out and let the other person log in or else the Wii will tell you that your weight has changed and get all weird when a different person steps on the balance board. 
  6. It tells you that you’re fat, every single day, which I personally find de-motivating and at times has made me back-talk the TV which then makes me feel like a psycho.  And that the Mii puts ALL the weight in the stomach making me look like a rolly polly.  Some of that fat belongs on my thighs!

So, I’m about 3 weeks in and I’m having fun, so far.  I did see an article that said that 60% of people who purchase the Wii Fit, never use it after the first time.  60%!   So there! I’m defying the odds, people!

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How To Stop Wasting Food

January 3rd, 2009 Gina Posted in Consumption, Food, Goals, Nutrition | 4 Comments »

2009_0103image0031 The more aware I become of the finite resources on our planet and my consumption habits, the more angry I get at myself for wasting food.  I don’t do it intentionally.  In fact, the wasting of the food seems to always result from my efforts to eat better, backfiring.  Here’s how it works…

I decide I need to eat more fresh fruits and veggies (which I do at least every other month), then run out to the grocery store or farmers market and buy a bag of apples or oranges, a couple of bags of salad greens (they force me to buy two because that’s the only way I can get the sale price - the bastards!) and whatever other fresh vegetables seem appetizing while I’m sitting on the couch planning my amazing new eating habits.  Then, when it’s time for dinner, I never want the crap that I’ve bought.  I’d much rather just throw a veggie burger and fries in the oven.  And a few days later, I’ve got a science project growing in my fridge from all the wholesome food I bought but did not eat. 

Over the past year, every time we’ve thrown away food, I’ve gone on a mini-rant about how much we suck for wasting food and money and quite frankly, I’m sick of feeling bad about it.

I don’t think any of us need to hear more lectures on wasting food (starving kids in third world countries, fuel to ship my oranges from God knows where, blah blah blah), we know the deal. 

One of the goals I set for 2009 is to reduce and record the food that we throw away.  As you can see from the picture, I just slapped a piece of paper on the fridge for us to write down everything we discard.  I’m hoping that it will encourage us to eat the food that we buy/prepare before it spoils, but, even if it doesn’t, it should be an interesting exercise at the end of the year to tally just how much food we wasted and estimate the cost of it. 

If you are a food waster like me, feel free to play along.  The only thing you need is a convenient place to write down what you throw away, and a moderate commitment to eat the stuff you buy (or grow for us gardeners) before it spoils.  I know my best friend has this same problem because we talked about it on the phone last night. 

Me “what if I compost the bag of rotten oranges? Do I still need to write that down as wasted food?” Her “Um, yes, you should be eating the oranges and composting the peels, anyway.  OK, maybe you can have partial credit for that but you are really reaching.”

So far, it’s January 3rd and we still have nothing on the list.  But, I presently have two bananas that need to be eaten in the next 48 hours, and left over black-eyed peas, collard greens, salsa chik’n/rice and a 2 day old container of organic salad greens that is virtually untouched in the fridge.  All good stuff, but, it’s Saturday and we almost always eat only bad food (pizza, burgers, etc…) on the weekend.  Plus, my guy will not touch the black-eyed peas or collards and the bananas are already past the point where he’ll eat them (he likes them almost green which totally grosses me out).  As you can see, I’m under a lot of pressure, here!  Wish me luck!

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Decorating The Christmas Tree: A Man’s Job

November 29th, 2008 Gina Posted in Family, Holidays | 4 Comments »

My brother-in-law is a “manly man”.  He works in construction, drives a big ole pick-up truck and will not ride in a vehicle that he’s not driving. 

But, at Christmas time, he insists on decorating the entire Christmas tree himself.  Neither his sons nor his wife (my younger sister) are allowed to place lights or ornaments on the tree because he thinks they can’t do it right. 

This cracks me up because he seems like the type to refuse to have anything to do with decorating a big gaudy tree.  But, it’s also kinda sad.  The kids don’t know what they are missing since he’s always been like this.  But, for my sister who always loved the ritual of selecting, then decorating the tree, it’s a sore spot.  Decorating the Christmas tree was something my mother always encouraged us to participate in as kids.   There is no way I’d let him get away with this and I’m amazed that my sister stands for this mess - it’s so not her style. 

I just imagine her sitting there watching him decorate the tree, hating him more with every ornament, then being reminded of it every time a light twinkles or she catches a whiff of that wonderful pine tree smell as she walks past it.

I wonder if she would have said yes had she known this.

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