Dear Red Robin
We finally made it to your restaurant last night. I’d seen all your commercials and was seduced by your claims of hamburger fancy-ness. And the fact that you you’ll vegetize any of those spectacular burgers with a Boca or a Garden Burger sealed the deal for me. Two veggie burger options is unheard of!
Here’s the thing - it is simply criminal for you to offer bottomless steak fries. We are a nation of fattys and speaking for all the people who feel that the french fries are the most important part of the hamburger/french fries meal, it’s just too hard not to be a glutenous pig with bottomless fries. And the onion ring tower? Can you make that any more embarrassing? We ordered this as an appetizer and I watched horrified as our waiter walked through the restaurant carrying it with every table in its path gawking, mouths dropped open as it made its way to us.
Since your restaurant was so veggie friendly we went out on a limb and asked our waiter a couple of cheese questions. I’m pretty sure he thought he was on candid camera.
me “Do you guys have soy cheese?”
waiter “No, no soy cheese”
me “Would you happen to know if the cheese that you use is made with animal rennet or is it vegetable rennet?”
waiter “What do you mean?”
me “Some cheeses are made with vegetable enzymes rather than animal ones? Do you know if yours is animal or vegetable?”
waiter “No, we only serve real cheese. All our cheese comes from cows.”
me “OK, great, thanks.”
Poor guy. What kind of freaks even ask questions like that.
What we loved:
- All the veggie burger options
- The A1 peppercorn burger was off the chain!
- The bottomless steak fries
- Onion rings (the taste) and the barbecue mayo sauce that comes with it.
What we didn’t love:
- The singing. There was entirely too much singing and clapping of the employees.
- The presentation of the onion rings. I was imagining all the other customers saying “What big fat pig ordered those?”
- The strange relish on the Monster burger.
- The bottomless steak fries.
- The heart attack factor.
- The post meal food hangover.
In closing I’d love to see you provide some cheese education to your employees for freaks like us but even if you don’t, we’ll be back. We loved it.
